The Lawro Audit: BPL Week 9

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So it’s the end of qualifying for Euro 2016, and it’s jubilation for England, as expected, but there was also excitement and history made for Wales and Northern Ireland. For us Scots, it’s the same old story. Fun fact before we get onto looking at Mark Lawrenson, I was watching with Scotland vs Poland with friends and even commented that they were going to score with the last kick of the game. They did. Not that it mattered, of course. Still, the Irish get into a play-off, as well, which is good for them, isn’t it. But what that means is that we can also get back to looking at the wonderful, fantastic, unbeatable predictions of the tipping god known as Mark Lawrenson.

In Week 8 of the English Premiership, Lawro only managed to get on score right, but he did get a few correct results. Weirdly enough, he didn’t get the Chelsea versus Southampton result correct, never mind the result. He also predicted a win for Manchester City over Newcastle, but bottled it and went for 2-0. Will he ever learn? Probably not. Still, Week 8 of the English Premiership was just a slight bust, as Lawro ended up with a loss of -0.88 units. That means Lawro is still in double figures for his profits this season, standing at an impressive +11.78 units, which is still incredible, as he is a bit of a bottler when it comes to predicting correct scores. He doesn’t like a 0-0 draw, or a 2-2 draw, and anything more than a team scoring two goals seems to give him a nose bleed. Anyway, if you’re still following Mark Lawrenson with £10 on every result and on every correct score, you’d be £117.80 in profit so far this season. So that summer holiday fund should be coming along nicely. Almost enough for a return flight to Tenerife!

Now let’s take a look at what Mark Lawrenson is predicting for this week’s Barclays Premier League fixtures.

Tottenham vs Liverpool

All eyes on this game, as Mr Jurgen Klopp takes to the dugout as Liverpool manager for the first time. But how does Lawro think this debut will go? Well, he’s going for a draw, so would you care to guess what score? Yes, 1-1. So the draw pays 5/2 and the correct score is a paltry 6/1. The news that Danny Ings is out for the season won’t be making Jurgen Klopp very happy before his first game in charge, so you know what, although I favour a manager ‘bounce’ in the first game or two, I’m taking Tottenham to sneak this. My prediction? Let’s go 3-2 to Spurs, because at least Satruday afternoon will be exciting if it is. Plus, it’s not my reputation on the line here, it’s Lawro’s.

Chelsea vs Aston Villa

Two managers under pressure. But if Villa win, Mourinho might as well start thinking about where he’s going to be holidaying in November. He should take his £10 million to Vegas and have a quiet couple of weeks there. Tim Sherwood, well, if Villa lose at Chelsea, it’s not the end of the world, but they have to put up a fight. Lawro’s going for Old Faithful here, a 2-0 home win. It’s a boring prediction, and it’s probably right. That being said, I wouldn’t be backing Chelsea with counterfeit money at the moment, nor Aston Villa. I’ll go for a 1-1 draw by some fluke. Lawro’s prediction of a home win pays 1/3 and the correct score pays a still paltry 6/1.

Crystal Palace vs West Ham

It might sound a bit perverse, but I’m really looking forward to this game. Palace have impressed me, and it’s testament to Alan Pardew, really. But is Lawro as impressed by Crystal Palace as I am? He sure is. He’s going for a 2-1 win for the Eagles. The home win pays Evens and the correct score is 17/2. I know I said West Ham were looking good away from home, but they were terrible against Sunderland until the Mackems pressed the self-destruct button and blew a 2-0 lead. I’m going 3-1 to Palace.

Everton vs Manchester United

This has draw written all over it, no? Lawro thinks so, I think so and I’m sure a lot of the football-loving public will think so, too. Manchester United have flattered to deceive most of the season and their hammering at the hands of Arsenal summed that up. Anyway, Lawro is predicting a 1-1 draw, and I agree with him. It’s 12/5 for the draw and 11/2 for the correct score. Hard to see where goals are going to come from here, so 1-1 looks good. Now watch as it’s a 5-4 classic.

Manchester City vs Bournemouth

Manchester City put a cracking six past Newcastle in their last home game, and Bournemouth have to be ready for another onslaught. Of course Lawro is going for a home win and of course he’s going 2-0. It’s 1/3 for the Manchester City win, it’s 7/1 for the correct score. I saw something interesting the other day about how many shots each team faces compared to how many goals. It seems like the Bournemouth goal is under constant pressure, yet they don’t concede too many. I think it’s going to change, and Manchester City look good for 4 at least. So I’m going 4-0 to Manchester City, because I think it’s time they start putting daylight between themselves and the chasing pack.

Southampton vs Leicester

You know, it’s another exciting game in the mould of Crystal Palace versus West Ham. Southampton will be boosted by that huge win over Chelsea, and Leicester are flying high, and can’t seem to do anything wrong. Lawro isn’t a believer yet, though, and he’s going for a 2-0 Southampton win. What else? The Southampton win pays 4/5 and the correct score is 8/1. Me, I think we’re getting goals here. Southampton used to have a solid defence, but it’s changing times, and a team like Leicester seem to score goals but also ship them. I’ll take a 3-3 because I want some exciting highlights to watch on Match of the Day. But in reality, it could go any way. A bit of a coin toss, this one, for me.

West Brom vs Sunderland

From an exciting game, to one that has the potential to put me to sleep. Big Sam’s taken over at Sunderland and I couldn’t actually care any less. It’s the perfect team for Allardyce, isn’t it? He’ll keep them as terrible and as boring as they were before. Lawro agrees and is going for yet another 2-0 home win. It’s a huge 21/20 for a West Brom win, and the correct score is 8/1. Yeah, for once, 2-0 seems sensible. We’re talking about a Tony Pullis West Brom side here, they shouldn’t concede anything to Sunderland, surely, and they’re good for a goal or two against this outfit. Get on this one, as Lawro’s getting full points here.

Watford vs Arsenal

A big London derby here. Well, a London derby and if you’re a Watford fan, it’s huge. I’m sure Elton John will be back home for it. Lawro’s sticking to a 2-0 win for the favourites here. No, not a 2-0 win for Watford, he’s predicting a 2-0 Arsenal win. The Gunners are 3/5 to win and 15/2 to win 2-0. Pick a score, any score, as long as it’s an away win. Watford are going OK as far as mid-table teams go, and they might nick some points off the bigger teams, but not this time. Arsenal to win comfortably here, maybe 2-0, maybe 3-0. Hell, Watford might even nick a goal and Elton will be jumping for joy if they do.

Newcastle vs Norwich

It must be torture being a Newcastle fan right now. Going 1-0 at the Etihad must have felt like Christmas come early. But then shipping 6 after that must have been like opening your Christmas presents and finding nothing but copies of Katie Price’s books. Anyway, Newcastle have been terrible, but they showed some fight in the first-half against Manchester City. Norwich are just ticking along nicely and it’s games like this that they’re happiest, nicking wins here and there. But maybe it’s time for a Newcastle recovery and Lawro thinks so. He’s going 2-0 to the Magpies. It’s 8/5 for the home win and a huge 14/1 for the correct score. I think Newcastle will win, too, but it’s crazy to think that they’ll keep a clean sheet. 2-1 for me, and a 91st minute winner to keep the Geordies sweating until the end.

Swansea vs Stoke

Anyone outside of Wales and the Potteries excited for this? No, me either. Lawro thinks a draw, his opponent this week, Amir Khan, think it’s going to be a draw, I think it’s going to be a draw, you think it’s going to be a draw. Lawro’s not strayed from his usual plan and is going for 1-1. Yeah, why not? The draw itself pays 12/5 and the correct score is a skinny as Kate Moss 11/2. But you know why it’s so skinny? Because it’s really bloody likely. It’s Monday Night Football, what do you expect, a classic? Of course not!

Back to a lot of 2-0 wins for the favourites, and it’s good to see he’s sticking with 1-1 draws, too. I would hate to see Lawro do anything that might cause us followers any displeasure. He is a tipping god for a reason, you know. 1-1 and 2-0 is like his secret mantra. Anyway, one of these weeks it has to pay off, and even when it does, although he’ll have made us a huge profit, the Lawro Audit will continue.

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